Summer 2018

By BRYAN CLARK

Sports Editor

DELAWARE, Ohio (AP) – Returning for the first time since 2015, it was clear why Team Torraveris has been ducking the 13th annual Donato’s Quad One Braggin’ Rights 2-on-2 Basketball Challenge presented by City Barbeque.  Despite three years to train, Torraveris put together their worst performance in the history of the series, losing to Team Bryamy 15-0, 15-3.  It was the first time a team has been shut out in a game, and it was the lowest two-game point total.

“This game has really outlived its original purpose at this point,” Dustin Torres said.  “It’s more about nostalgia now, like compact disks and democracy.”

Hosted at the Reserve at Glenross Park, this year’s game featured a rowdy — if somewhat indifferent — crowd of children under the age of eight.  At one point, the Challenge faced its first bathroom stoppage in history when young Peyton Torres approach his father (who had the ball) and announced he had to go to the bathroom.  After a brief stoppage to visit a nearby tree, play resumed.

Still, Bryamy could not be distracted from its mission, refusing to give up any uncontested looks and knocking down shots at an alarming rate.  Jeremy Bridgman claimed not to have played basketball in more than a year, but he led all scorers, hitting shots from all over the court.  A father for just over a year, he attributed his performance to “dad strength.”  But Delaveris had another theory.

“Look – I drove 14 hours to get here from my home in Dublin[, Ohio].  Of course I was exhausted,” Delaveris said.  “And I was afraid to get anywhere near Bryan [Clark] because I didn’t want to contract poison ivy.  Apparently that’s like an STD now.”

With the official match-up over so quickly — and the team mini-van nowhere to be found — Quad One Productions debuted the Quad Two Bwaggin’ Wights Game, featuring four children ages 4 to 8 taking on their dads (except for Jackson Clark, who instead chose to “host” the proceedings, sounding a “halftime” buzzer approximately every 30 seconds).  Rylan Torres, who had buried his head in his hands as Clark rejected a lay-up, grabbed the ball, and knocked down a wide open three to win Game Two, starred for the kids team, slicing through the defense, delivering crisp passes, and finishing layups.

“Look, everyone’s talking about the future, and with good reason,” Delaveris said.  “My boys are rather athletic, and Rylan is already better than Dustin.  My question is, when do we get to stop playing in these games altogether?”

Torres, standing nearby, nodded grimly.  This point was proven later on when Team Torres (featuring Dustin and Rylan) knocked off Bryamy 7-6 in an exhibition game.

Charley Clark and Peyton Torres also brought their own unique offensive strategies to the kids game.  Yelling “you can’t catch me,” they sprinted in circles around the court, distracting and wearing out the pursuing dads while Rylan Torres drove to the hoop.

“Imagine chasing around Steph Curry, or Richard Hamilton at his peak, but without a shot clock and without them ever stopping to get the ball,” Clark said.  “Really tested our cardio today.”

But for now, the next generation will have to settle for contributing with coaching tips.  After Game One, Rylan Torres pulled his father aside and offered some critical advice.

“He noticed that we weren’t calling any fouls, so he said I should just pick up the ball and travel to the basket,” Torres said. “Smart kid.  But I’m not sure it would have worked.  Jeremy probably would have come flying in like Steve Atwater and taken me out.”

Team Doctor Dan McFarlane missed this year’s game because he was at the polls voting in the special election.

“I appreciate Dr. Dan’s commitment to democracy, even if it is quickly becoming an antiquated institution,” Torres said.  “Speaking of things that are antiquated, I need to go ice my back.”