3.29.09

By BRYAN CLARK

Quad One Sports Editor
 
DUBLIN, Ohio -- The seventh annual Quad One Braggin' Rights Game was a historic one, but not for the reasons perennial underdog Team Torraveris might have hoped.  Playing without typical starter Lee Delaveris for the first time in the game's history, Team Torraveris mustered just eight total points, dropping the best-of-three series 15-6, 15-2 to its archrival Team Bryamy.
 
"We knew they would struggle without Lee, but my goodness," Jeremy Bridgman said. "It was easier than Lee's mom out there.  I just kept going back door and it was wide open.  I mean, I was going through the lane like a hotdog down a hallway.  We went all the way every time."
 
Asked if he was trying to use such obvious double entendres, Bridgman was shocked.
 
"Me? I'm a minister's kid. I'm probably the only one here who wouldn't order a hooker." 
 
Delaveris threw the opening jump-ball and then watched from the sidelines.  He was released from the hospital only 24 hours earlier after a bowel obstruction.  Ironically, it was Team Doctor Dan McFarlane who suited up in his place.
 
"When I first heard Lee couldn't play, I was so mad that I could have maimed an Amish," Dustin Torres said. "But I really appreciated Dan playing along. I found him immediately after the game and said, 'Dan, thanks for being such a good guy.'"
 
If that line sounds familiar, it is because Lakota East Spark Advisor Dean Hume had used it in his pre-game pep talk.
 
"I can't believe Dustin is out there stealing my freaking material; it's killing me - freaking killing me," Hume said. "The thing is, they all want to be like me, but they can't.  They just don't have the mystique."
 
Hume’s pre-game speech seemed to inspire, as Torres played with more energy than anyone on the floor and McFarlane stood firm in the lane, grabbing rebound after rebound. 
 
"I haven't played basketball in like 10 years, so I thought I did pretty well," McFarlane said. "Sure, those guys have had time to learn the rules about traveling and double dribble or whatever, but are any of them doctors? I don't think so."
 
In the end, however, Bridgman and Bryan Clark were just too much.  After coasting through Game 1, the duo came out in Game 2 determined to shut out their opponent.  Bridgman scored a series-record 13 points in Game 2 while Clark added a double-double with 10 assists and 10 rebounds.  Their perfect game was spoiled only by a banked three-pointer from Torres near the end.
 
"That was weak," Clark said. "I didn't hear him call for the bank.  I'm a Mizzou fan, so I know a little something about lucky shots.  Did you see that 75-footer by Marcus Denmon the other night? All skill. But that crap Dustin put up? Please."
 
As usual, Team Bryamy made its mark with creative defense.  Clark, known in some circles as "The Illusionist," distracted Torres by conjuring up the King of Hearts, which Torres had picked from a deck the night before.
 
"Is this your card?" Clark asked, holding the card in his opponent's face.  Amazed and horrified by this black magic, Torres threw up an airball before doubling over.  When he arrived in the locker room after the game, Torres found the same card tucked in his hat, with Clark nowhere to be seen.
 
"How does he do this stuff?" Torres said.  "I'm starting to get a little freaked out."

Played at the Dublin Recreation Center – which was so much nicer than Chicago – the game drew an impressive crowd including Delaveris in his capacity as ref/coach/fan, Team Photographer Lea Delaveris, and a funny looking kid who insisted on wandering through the court and sitting near the three-point line from time to time.  This was already the second game of 2009, but don’t be surprised if you see a third match-up at the Quad One 10-year anniversary gala this fall.